It hurts

I watch my son as he walks ahead of me...excited...smiling...ready.

I know this should make me proud.  I know that even if he hits a rough patch today, he will wipe his tears away and recover.  I know that he is an amazingly happy, social kid that he will adjust to this change, just as he has with all the others.

I know what the healthy response to this day is.  I know I should pat myself on the back that I have prepared him well for this day.  I know that all parents survive this moment.  I know that he can't be with me forever.

But none of that matters as I watch the blond hairs on the crown of his head bounce like happy dandelions as he walks with purpose just a step ahead of me.

All I know is there is not an ocean big enough that can hold the amount of heartache I feel right at this moment.